It’s been hard finding the time to write lately. It settles me to put my heart into words. Tonight, it feels especially important to put my 2020 hopes and “resolutions” into my new planner and out into the universe.

The rest of my family is out tonight, all doing fun things. That feels really nice so I put my perfect date night with “myself” into motion. I know I want to write but I want it to be inspired and not forced. So, I take a quiet bubble bath, something I haven’t slowed down to do since my achy last half marathon a couple of years ago! Next, I make my favorite dinner of salmon, enough for my 14 year old lab because I feel worried she hasn’t been eating enough. It’s dark, cold and raining so I pour a glass of an elegant Oregon Pinot Noir to give it a cozy feel. After, I grab my computer. I light a fire in the fireplace. I sit on the floor with my furry best friend all snuggled up next to me. Together, we peacefully coexist. She’s happy to have me still and next to her. I feel the same so I’m inspired to begin.

 Rather than a whole list of resolutions (that are often too enthusiastic and unrealistic anyway), it has always helped me to just choose 5 words to grow by. This year, I’ve chosen Faith, Love, Health, Discipline and Growth. I believe keeping those words close to me will lead me to make good decisions within my 2020 days and year.

Reflecting is helpful. I’m older now. My mature heart longs to be less selfish and have more substance. I want to make sure my “resolutions”/goals are all in line with that desire. My mature heart is what drove me to write my book. But my heart still wants to do more. I know my ability to write is a gift from God and it feels purposeful. I have always felt there is power and magic in the written word. In the last few years, I feel guided to write. So I’m listening, I’m writing. I’m hoping it touches the right hearts.

Whenever I try to figure out my direction, sometimes I find it easier to listen to what I don’t want. It always seems to guide me to what I do. I have goals in all areas of my life but as I said, my mature heart longs to have a life filled with real meaning. The world pushes “superficial” on us and it leaves us feeling stressed, anxious and some depressed. Accomplishments, possessions, perfection, etc. etc. In my opinion, that’s not what fills us up or calms us down. It’s being a loving person and being surrounded by loving people that is the key to our joy. I will make my decisions for all parts of my life with this in mind and heart. This leads me to writing about what I don’t want in 2020 so that it steers me to what I do want to be and what I want my life to mean.

I don’t want to lead a busy, busy life doing things that don’t bring me joy. I don’t want to be someone who isn’t grateful for my blessings. I don’t want to be someone who doesn’t understand that our struggles are also blessings, filled with lessons for our journey. I don’t want struggles to make me bitter.

I don’t want to be a wife who doesn’t take time to really look at my husband and hear his dreams and his struggles. I don’t want to be a family member that is removed from needs of my whole family. I don’t want to be a mom who doesn’t help my kids dream, or that drops the ball or misses a cry for help.

I don’t want to be the friend that doesn’t answer your text or can’t keep our plans. I don’t want to be the friend that doesn’t lift you up or make your dreams important to me too. I don’t want to be too busy or self involved to ask you if you’re ok. I don’t want to be too busy to ask if your loved ones are ok too.

 I don’t want to spend my life “online” and always be plugged in.  I also don’t want to be totally disconnected from the world and people I care about.  I don’t want to be the person on social media that spreads negativity, ignores your pain or resents your joy.

I don’t want to be a writer that writes inspiration-I want to be an inspired person who writes and shares. I don’t want to spend my days trying to be an “influencer” or following them…but I hope to always be a good influence. I don’t want to be a person who wants to have a big “following” and never values people enough to follow them back.

 I don’t want to be the neighbor that doesn’t see you outside or that you can’t ask for help. I don’t want to be the one who lets everyone else always pick up the tab. I don’t want to be the person that never volunteers. I don’t want to be the person that doesn’t take time help people in need.

 I don’t want to be the one who pushes my political views on you or makes you feel bad for yours. I don’t want to claim to be a good Christian but then judge you or make you feel bad. I don’t want to talk about my friends behind their back.

I don’t want to spend time with people who don’t make me feel good. I don’t want to ignore my physical, spiritual or mental health. I don’t want to have unhealthy habits as a way of life. I don’t want to have bad manners. I don’t want to treat people in my life in bad ways that affect their health or mental health.

I don’t want my year to be about just what I want. I don’t want to be shallow. I don’t want you to be shallow with me. I don’t want to be ignored. I don’t want to ignore you. I don’t want us to forget that we’re connected. I don’t want us to not include each other in our resolutions and goals. 

Happy New Year! I’m wishing you don’t have a lot of things you don’t want. I hope this helps inspire clarity to what we do want and need in 2020.

Sharon Caldwell Peddie is also the Author of “Grow Yourself Beautiful: A Smart Girl’s Guide to Following Her Heart and Focusing on Her Inner Joy”. For more information on her book visit www.sharoncaldwellpeddie.com or https://www.amazon.com/Grow-Yourself-Beautiful-Following-Focusing/dp/1532057342/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=grow+yourself+beautiful&qid=1567376389&s=gateway&sr=8-1 or https://sharonpeddieblog.comhttps://www.pinterest.com/sharonpeddie/pins/

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